Mauve Matters

Sapphire Bullets

2011-08-04T20:15:00.000-07:00

~ Dear Mauve, your blog bites.

! Relevant comments?!? Shuffled dusty amongst the the spam.

@ Hazel, your writing speaks back to mine, even though it took me so long to read.

# How is Mauve even found here? Y'all next page it up or something?

$ Some asked about the bench. Zee bench was not for me. However, I know the dude they chose, and he and his art rock it.

% Yes, I'm a spaz because They Might Be Giants, and what are we going to do unless they are?

^ Are you singing yet?

& My favorite part of comments is following them to your blogs.

* Attention span waning, fridge humming.

( I miss crickets but not hot oven cowbreath air.

) Green breeze over my fleece blanket.

- Curl up Chucky and good night.

~ Sincerely, what the hell is wrong with you, Jones.

Web of Dreads

2011-02-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 14 letter edit: ps, if you find my blog, please just ignore it. Right, like I'd do that if I were you.

Post: Secret web of aliases, need industrial grade detangler. Just shave it off and make a wig for when you want to hide. I, not you.

Backdrop: Somewhere between the occasional poor choice of partner and Day 14, Patty Purviss was born. Then she got paranoid, and bore Pearly Blythe. Poor Pearly never really fit in and is still searching for her limelight. Like the retarded unicorn in the back of the barn, it might just be time to let her go.

Present day wish: I want to pedal my art, you see. Not sculpt it into a bicycle, though that could be awesomely amazing, but you know, like use it to make that stuff that buys you other stuff. More art supplies comes to mind.

Dilemma #1: Whose art is this? Whose website will show whose art? How do I get my name out there without getting my name out there?

Dilemma #2: This is where it gets fuzzy. I've had this blog for 3 years, and not sure I can change the user name or want to abandon it. I printed business cards locally for my art, and put my primary contact email and my real name. Christina Something-Infamous. Didn't think it through and also have the same email here and ok, I'll just say it, farcebook. All three have different names though.

Breach! If you have a biz card, you can search for my email, and find everything!!! Shit. But, I have forgotten my gmail and hotmail alias emails, and honestly, (ha), I am tiring of all this subterfuge.

Leading me to...... not sure. Changing farcebook and this to my real name? Hmm. Maybe the simplest is just to let it happen naturally. Make a website for art with my real name, and let whoever wants to find me do so if they really want to.

Not sure yet.

Signing off and going to work. I wonder what patty does all day when I'm gone.

sit on it

2011-02-09T22:20:00.000-08:00

I'm entering a contest. I want to paint a bench downtown in my town. These are the drawings I shall send in. Tomorrow. In the mail. If you know me, you know, that is the catch. Can I do it? Can I actually get all the crap collated! in an envelope, addressed, stamped, and.......mailed???? Shit.

I think so.

Viewing question

2011-02-09T07:17:00.000-08:00

Is the white font on black background hard for anyone else to read? I sure can't read it without seeing levelor blinds everywhere when I look away, and I have a hard time with other blogs in this format. But, it looks so snazzy. Thoughts? Cares?

Seems like I should throw something else in this post, eh?

ok

Bears eat oats, and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy.

Day 14 Save the Drama for Your Mama

2011-02-06T11:02:00.000-08:00

Dear R,

You infiltrate most of my days, and I consider this a huge improvement. Why must you be so crazy? Or, rather, why must your crazy be so consistently hostile? Don't you know Crazy is supposed to go up and down? Where are my ups??

Day 1, I hate your crazy. Like an invisible electric fence, laid in frantic zig zags. You call to me in baby voice sing song, electric jolts still surprise me.

Day 2, my space, my fence, no more collar. I love each year, each holiday, each person in my life more now that I don't hear your voice. I love that I found a compromise that keeps you away from me, and eases my guilt. Writing letters, yes still for now, phone calls, no.

Day 3, Your voice sends me into a small ball, trapped way up high in that spider web. I get stuck there sometimes. It's hard to forgive myself for not being stronger than your voice.

Day 4, Frankly, I've been forgiving you since I could speak, and it's getting old.

Day 5, Someday, mail and packages won't give me a panic attack.

Day 6, I don't want to attend your mother's funeral with you. I am pretty sure I don't have to. Man, I must look like a bitch right now. Too bad I don't care.

Day 7 and Day 8, welcome to Libra Land. Enough said.

Day 9, I can not think of a single thing I haven't tried, sometimes, you just have to let go.

Day 25, Because I'm adaptable, and great at ducking projectiles.

Day 26, Never, I am really stubborn. This life is mine Motherfuckers, and you'll take it over my dead body. Plus, I am a great self-entertainer.

Day today, Something positive that we share. Thank you for being a dog person and introducing me to the Greatful Dead. I love whoever you are within all that nastiness.

Love, your daughter, Patty, Pearly, XT

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Cave Dwelling

2011-01-18T07:10:00.000-08:00

Cave morning almost over. Blanket muffled sigh. Make more coffee.

Music.

Ok.

~

Awake?

2010-12-07T06:59:00.001-08:00

There's a beetle in the bed! There's a beetle in the bed!

No. There isn't. You're just dreaming.

No! There's a beetle in the bed! There's a beetle in the bed!

No. There isn't. You are just dreaming. Be quiet.

But look! Right there, how do you know I'm just dreaming?

Because the beetle you're looking at is on a hardwood floor, and you are in bed. You are dreaming.

Oh. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Brain Forest

2010-10-26T07:05:00.001-07:00

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Skipping ahead in my 30 days of writing, because this is on my mind. And yes, apparently I struggle with forgiveness.

So, Dude, I have an art show up right now, and this tree is the star. I love this tree, and I miss it in my house. I live inside that big knothole right there. I miss it, and now people want it. It's hard to sell art when you don't want to part with it.

And, Dude, I am hanging a second show in 2 parts. First is tomorrow, shit, that is stressful. Then in 2 weeks that tree will move there with it's forest of creatures and brambles. I am happy that my little paintings will have their moment before the tree steals their light. I am excited to share my brain forest with the locals. Ha. I am also terrified and highly anxious. And excited. And freaked. And..... ya.

I still need to crete a website, hello 2010, you're almost gone. I started an Etsy store that needs some paint splashed on its walls. I made a buttload of prints and cards that have been selling. Gumption. Let's do this.

Shit.

Do frogs forgive?

2010-10-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

Man, this forgiveness thing is tricky. Anything I am wanting to forgive myself for, I'm thinking instead, you don't need forgiveness, you need a kick in the ass. I want to forgive myself for my financial struggles, but I think the past happened for a reason and there is no excuse for the present. Man up and figure it out. Bad habits in relationships? Same deal. Fitness, yup, ditto. being too hard on myself? Nah, otherwise I'd get nothing done at all. Hmm, a little stuck here. Wait! I forgive myself for not being able to forgive myself! Ha! I win.

Or not. I'll concede that I have points to ponder for a while.

Lets move onto anagrams!

Inverse Fogs - It's hard enough to see through the fog without it being inversed. Translation: quit overthinking so damn much.
Envies Frogs - Don't you too? Yep, me too.
Griefs Ovens - Unforgiving grief steeping in your cerebral oven, just might make your top explode.
Gofers Veins - Gofers shouldn't shoot up, but if they did, I would forgive them.
Forges Veins - Forgiveness allows you to forge through the veins of human connections. Ok.
Forges Vines - Building blocks to the tops of the trees!
Foe Servings - Ahh yes, what nobler dish to serve your foe, than a platter of forgiveness.

There is a point here, I swear

2010-10-16T09:37:00.000-07:00

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Ok. See? Right there ---------->

No? Really? Shit.

How to make these brush strokes into words?

Day 1 - Obsession: more than just a pervy purfume ad, it is my brian. Whoa, I said Brian, what does that mean? Do I even know a Brian? Never mind. Brain. Yes. See? It itches.

What ABOUT that thing I said at work? Did I offend? Was I misunderstood? Do I care? Am I a bitch for not caring? Dude, who cares? Well, not me obviously. Really? Really. Why is that person interrupting my conversation? Who am I talking to?

Day 2 - Obsession: Just shut up and paint something! Ahh, look at that color. It likes that other one, look, they're dancing. Ooh, make a line there, and here, and whoosh it around up there. Something is scratching at the door. Scritch Scratch, oh look, just a monster hiding in the weeds. Prickly brush, sprouting flowers bearing birds. Calmer, quieter, nestling in my body's center. Whoa, it's been four hours, I love this shit.

Thirty Days of Writing

2010-10-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

Thank you to Flutter for letting me copy this writing exercise. Hmm, writing assignment? Task? Project? Ooh, yes, Project. Thank you. My 30 days might be more like 30 weeks, and I'm liable to get distracted a third of the way in, but still, inspiration is scratching at my door.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Jerky boys: Frank Rizzo

2010-10-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't actually tried this job searching technique yet, but just maybe......

No Thank You Please

2010-10-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

Do you know someone tried to give me a Tab yesterday?!? Fizzy crack in its pinkest form, pop rocks for my brain. It has now been long enough in Diet Coke recovery, that I have finally lost track of days clean. So, no Yo, no diet pop for me, no aspartame brain fizz, no phenylalanine skin rubs, not even a saccharine soaked snuggy blanket. No, no, and no. I shan't. But, oh my stars, how much more delectable my coffee has become. Anyone else afflicted with an addictive personality? Mmmm, addiction, addiction, mmmm, mmm, mmm.

DC maker the life better

2010-09-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

Lost in translation spambot trying to derail my recovery?

Velveteen spambot turned real by magical dc bubbles?

I woke up to a slew, (can you have a slew of 3?), of garbled comments on my woefully outdated posts.

Perhaps dear commenter, you have just relapsed on the DC, and are blissfully babbling to your fellow addict. I want to say "just say no!" But, really all I'm thinking is that Diet Coke must have missed me very much, and I'm glad you too have found each other.

And thank you diet coke head for waking up my blog fingers. I will try to keep them tingly longer this time.

Quilty Bits

2010-06-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

Vertical cross-section of my brain:

The playground of my painted brain is padded with billowing fabric and crash absorbent poly-fill. When I slip through my prickly, painted branches, I relax and trust the fall to my homemade safety net. I rest on whimsical patterns of flowers and ridiculousness while staring up at acrylic thorns. Which of those branches are actually descending talons, I can't be sure, but the quilted seams have now mingled with my veins, and I am safely camouflaged.

..........when struggling with photo uploads, sometimes we must resort to the metaphorical illustration.

Morning

2010-05-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

Fuzzy moist eyeballs
Steaming up my spectacles
Onward vertical

I never asked for this soap box

2010-04-17T17:27:00.000-07:00

I swear, I am not trying to be vegetarian, but I just opened a can of chicken broth, and it smelled like an egg fart.

DC to DT

2010-04-05T06:49:00.000-07:00

That would be diet coke to detox, for all you chemical-free, straight edge, folks. Over a month now of Aspartame free living. Done. Dirty, done done. Do you hate it when someone finally gives up something after 20 years, and then jumps on a soapbox to tell you what he or she has been ignoring all this time? Well, prepare to hate while I note note the effects of my feat.

- First 2 weeks was passed in a rufied slumber of chemical withdrawal and flashing migraines. I almost downed an equal packet at its depth, but I did not have enough energy to tear open the packet.

- After a 24 hour sleep at the end of the 2 weeks, I woke up feeling like I was on a new and improved clean drug. Who knew I could get high off of water!!

- I love water! I hated it before, hated it like a dose of Nyquil. Now it is my invisible friend, who apparently is everywhere. I mean, I just open any tap, and there she is.

-Vanity doesn't kill, ABC, it saves! Even upon obsessively magnified examination, my skin is smooth and blemish free. I always thought my face was so juicy, and now it seems that those clusters of tiny pustules were actually excess aspartame oozing from the desert-scape that became my face.

- To expand on the subject of my face, I couldn't figure out what else had changed, except the bathroom light seemed brighter. Aha! The lightrays are not being sucked into my raccoon eyes anymore! They are gleefully bouncing off the same color, (ok, much closer to), the same color as the rest of my face, hence increasing overall illumination!

- I wish I could expand on additional skin effects, dream differences, and food cravings, but it is time to dress and depart. The final point is simple, I have the face of a baby's ass, and I can see better!

Good Bye DC, You'll Always be Special to Me

2010-03-29T06:53:00.000-07:00

Goodbye, Friend

Metallic bubbles
Aluminum infused taste buds
Vibrating molars

Crackity fizz pop
Keens for my clutching embrace
Let's talk about this

Tab bore Diet Coke
Chemically infused rebound
Twenty year affair

Now we walk alone
Broken chain of bubble love
Never forgotten

Small things that float my boat

2010-03-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

first smell and sip of my morning coffee
inspiration from strangers, art, writing and such
me pero loco
learning to habla Espanol
two inch square canvasses - I've never actually bought one of these, but I like carrying them around the store
ooo, the craft store
games, any and all games
fortune telling
the plasticky smell of acrylic paint
the rubbery smell of white erasers

I'm sure there are more. I'm pretty easy to please. I might need to make a list of favorite smells.

Talkers to the right, Listeners to the left

2010-03-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

No more denying it. I am so much more interested in reading other blogs than I am in writing my own. I come to my blog page just as a bookmark site in order to read the ones I love. I'm a bit embarrassed to be listed on other people's link lists, in the company of so many interesting writers. I do better answering survey questions or taking on interesting assignments like Law With Grace's, Stolen Words project. That is so cool to me, somehow. An opening line sends me in so many directions. Though I can't stand those paper journals with headers, who needs that? Well, I guess in internet land, I do.

This week I have been mired in social services land, and I'm not sure those stories are anything other than depressing to others. I feel like I need a good questionnaire.

Anyone have one for me?

Oingo Boingo - Only A Lad (Live)

2010-03-20T11:32:00.001-07:00

Translucence

2010-02-28T11:16:00.000-08:00

I have to put ointment in my eye each night to repair a scratch, and it coats my view with a film that reminds me of translucent insects. Silverfish are not the most translucent insect, but in my paintings so far, they are. They are, they are, what beautiful insects they are.

June Bug

2010-02-26T06:34:00.000-08:00

Maybe it should be Junebug. Spring, payday, Friday all of which should make me feel peppy. But, I am only bursting with oozy eyed sluggishness. A slug, hmm, next drawing, yes.

Intestine Fairy

2010-01-31T10:27:00.000-08:00

Speaking of gut spilling, mine did so this summer. My intestines punched through my abdominal wall and rested in a fist sized bubble, precariously restrained by skin and my favorite leather belt. I am highly doctorphobic, which caused me to prep for surgery mostly by organizing important papers and cleaning out my underwear drawer. This little dude heard my panic and flew out of my paintbrush the night before surgery. Not many people get to meet their intestine fairy, but he sensed my urgency, revealed himself, and promised to wake me up if the doctor forgot. Thank you Intestine Fairy, maybe I can someday repay the favor.

Yo Palaverings

2010-01-26T18:05:00.000-08:00

Right! Are we over-thinking, or being wisely cautious? Part of it is purely psychological, not wanting someone I don't like read my thoughts. But, what if I published a book? Would I add a byline that lists the people who will be neutralized if they pluck it from the shelves? Even if someone goes to the googlerrific effort of connecting my sites, so what, not like they have my home address.

Sometimes I want to write all of my aliases on one sheet of paper. I wonder if it would spontaneously combust. I don't even know what name appears when I comment elsewhere. It was Pearly Blythe for awhile. I chose that because it felt like the furthest thing from myself. But, I prefer Patty Purviss, my longtime and favorite alias. I actually could answer to Patty in a crowded room, though that, gasp, is not my real name. I was amused to find through googling, (wow, that is a word!), that there are actually a plethora of patty purvisses out there.

Patty Purviss, is that your Pledge Pin?!?!?

ps - thank you, lurking Yo, for responding and inspiring

Interminglings

2010-01-24T17:29:00.000-08:00

How many people link their blogs with other sites? people sites and blogs, selling sites, and neworky places? There are pros and cons to either choice, of course. Do I want someone who might buy a painting to read my ramblings? I think yes, though I can imagine exceptions. Over compartmentalizing makes me a little funny sometimes. Exacerbates my splitdom and confuses my roadmaps. I hate having multiple email addresses, passwords, and identities. Actually, I enjoy the various identities, I just lose track of their whereabouts.

and.....

2010-01-24T12:08:00.001-08:00

I'm about to have something to say. Any minute now.

Scratch, scrape, fiddle

2009-08-08T14:31:00.000-07:00

Fresh now. What March? What are you even talking about?

happy dog

2009-03-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

Lucy's Story

2009-03-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

Thank you Ms Changes Pants While Driving! If it weren't for you, I might never have realized how much I wish that double sided duct tape existed. Sure wouldn't want to fall on that stuff though.

Happiness makes me quiet, and for some reason impedes my writing creativity and stimulates my visuals. Visuals as in painting and such. But, let's talk about the dog.

Had my internet been hooked up during her first 6 days, I would have woefully poured out my story. I had this dog for just 7 hours, until her floppy ears suddenly went pointy and propelled her up and over the fence. She looked over her shoulder at me as she bolted into the night. I ran after her, but her shtumpy legs outraced my own. I searched, I cried, I made pitiful flyers, none of which made any difference. She came home at 4am the next night in a heavy downpour. She whimpered at the door, and bolted when I opened it. Over the next SIX days, the joke was on the "lost" dog flyers. She was never lost, she was right over there. She returned home 3 to 4 times a day, each time to sadly flee me again. Neighbors called with reports of the latest sightings. At Jiffy Lube, in the grocery parking lot, in the damn intersection of racing traffic. This dog was never lost, just uncatchable. I cooked bacon with my door open and made many other animal friends. I gave my name, number, and address to every stranger within a mile. I found my dog walking routine, twice a day, I walked dogless with bacon bits, calling and coaxing. She met me on most of these walks from a 20 foot distance. On the sixth day, she seemed to be expecting me. She cocked her crazy, fuzzy, face at me from a leaf pile, gave a big dog stretch and came bounding up to me. Bounding, I tell you. As if she'd been looking for me the whole time. Crazy little dog still lives at home, and is hugely attached. However, she can scale a 6 foot fence, and nighttime possesses her. I may have a leash surgically attached to her jugular.

Welcome home, Lucy, aka, Piggly Wggly.

Dogtime

2009-03-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

This blog has become just a bookmark to those I like to read. So thank you, links to the right, for being the only reason I visit my own page.

But, then again, we now have Lucy.

It's really time for me to go to work

2009-02-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

I often hear bloggers suggest that their absences coincide with rough times. My absences are the opposite. Writing is not my natural creative outlet, more of a space to process. Life is spiffy for me at the moment, which seems to leave me with little to say. Yet, I have this blank space here that calls for something in it........

I trail off and need to paint......

Perhaps, that is the way th.......

more trailing.....

my natural writing skill emerges.......

yet doesn't.....

..........

....

Derailed

2009-02-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

Cabbage, but then Lux Interior died. Was it really that long ago that I rubbed his chest? Wow, it was nearly 15 years ago. It was so smooth, everybody else was doing it, then we all jumped off a bridge and it was punk rock.

Background music for all things Cabbage

2009-01-31T12:11:00.000-08:00

Cabbage Rolls and Coffee

The sharing videos option from youtube is not working so there is the link. The song starts about 6 minutes into the skit. I like that my question triggered so many culinary and musical cravings. I guess nobody won, except for me. That rocks. So I shall write an Ode to Cabbage and Myself, the winner.

Thank you for playing.

Canned Milk and Coffee, Mmm, Mm, Good

2009-01-26T07:42:00.000-08:00

I'll give a prize to the first person who catches my reference. The prize will be a shiny new blog post, all about Cabbage, sometime in the next month or so. That was a hint.

Five runners up will receive nothing, but will impress me with their existence.

Good luck.

Winter Love with a Side of Jack Torrence

2008-12-21T09:57:00.000-08:00

I love that this town shuts down in the snow! I love trudging through the glinty wonderment while my car nestles ever deeper into its spot. I love the Shining-esque thoughts that stab through snowy hedges and make me jump at falling icicles. I love the Christmas lights reflecting like candy, and if nobody were looking, I might taste one. I love that it's too billowy to get hurt when I fall down. Oh, and I love David Bowie.

Happy Rotting Pumpkins!

2008-10-31T14:36:00.000-07:00

If my camera batteries weren't dead, I could forever capture my Halloween Creepshow Jack-O-Lantern, whose eyes and nostrils are swarming with beetles, earwigs and potato bugs.

Sun in my Freezing Eyes

2008-10-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

Why, yes, student loans lady, I would like a another year to get my shit together. Thank you. May I bake you a pie?

Three days left at my - equally - most stressful and most favorite job.

According to the work kids, I am both the best cook and the clumsiest person they have ever known. Except that I burnt everything this weekend.

Magic of Seasons

2008-10-25T13:11:00.000-07:00

Oh, favorite, fuzzy one, neglected in the corner. How long since I even glanced your way? You shiver and pill in anticipation of being noticed, cleaned, even aired out just a bit. At last, on this October morn, I hear your cries, and pluck you from the pile. You brush my face and your breath is, wait, not pungent, not even stale, in fact, did somebody wash you while I was away? The dry suds of apartment air and smelly candles have craftily rendered you fresh and soft. Skip the basket, and slip onto me. Mmmm, seasonal self cleaning is the freshest.

More Circles

2008-10-19T11:59:00.000-07:00

You're never stuck, there are always choices.

It boils down to body parts. Literally, even? I made chicken pot pie last night entirely out of leftovers, boiled the carcass for the gravy, prepared in 2 hours, consumed in 2 minutes.

There are body parts on the side of the road on my way to work. I hadn't noticed that I had noticed them until my sleep brain showed me in the form of children being tossed into traffic. They squashed and exploded like Crash Bandicoot losing at Frogger in San Andreas. The following day, I lurched slightly off the road when my dream lay ahead on the pavement. Ohhhh, THOSE body parts. Reel 3 days back, and I had vaguely noticed that a red sweater in the street looked like Crash Bandicoot hitting a TNT crate. That one second thought long forgotten, one of my kids darted into the street that night, which had me bitching for about a minute or 2, then on to the next activity at hand. Mix in several cups of drama and a teaspoon of catalyst, and it's night night with Jack Torrence.

Freeforming Circles

2008-10-05T01:46:00.000-07:00

So, questions are better.

What side of a heart do you draw first?

"The right side. And my left is always lopsided" - from Emerald - as is the survey, which is long so I cut out some questions - I like doing the symmetrical fold and cut heart too.

Can you dive without plugging your nose?

Yes, I could live underwater, I might have been a mermaid once.

Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?

Ghast, nobody. 24 hours? Even if toileting and hygiene weren't an issue, I like a bubble, thank you.

Where are you right now?

Home in pajamas, trying not to thing about work. Wait I have pudding. One of my work perks is pudding, and I just remembered the chocolaty goodness I brought home. My new job will not have pudding, that will be an adjustment.

How many chairs at the dining room table?

I have 2 dining room tables set up all crafty and shit with one chair in between.

What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?

Try to find an emergency escape hatch, fiddle with the buttons, maybe set off a smoke detector, if nothing worked, I'd just space out until someone arrived.

T or F: All is fair in love and war?

What is fair about either one? Both involve lots of travel and unfamiliar customs.

Do you like to sleep?

Not so much. I feel like I'm missing something, and I wake up anxious to get busy. I remember being a kid and being excited to go to another land for the night. My goal was always to remember as many dreams as possible. Sometimes I can tap into that, but not often enough.

Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings?

I know it was the only thing I liked about living in Arizona. I resent daylight savings both ways, up and down.

Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?

What?

What’s something you’ve always wanted?

I really just miss having a dog.

Do you wear a lot of black?

I've been called Morticia a few times, yes.

Describe your hair.

Freshly dipped in red.

Where do you wish you were right now?

Actually, I'm liking where I am more and more. My carpets could be less stained, and I wish I were more tired.

28 Days and a Wake Up

2008-09-29T12:48:00.000-07:00

New job, new job, new, job. My excitement props up my fatigue like dewy tent poles. I've been a counselor in a group home for teens for the last two years, working until midnight or later five nights a week. We're all about extremes, leave your moderation at the door, please. Wait, we don't say please. We say, "Look Bitch! Give me my fucking sweet snack, or I will fucking kick your ass! Fuck you! I am being respectful!" Or in a happy moment, "Fuck, Dog! This is best fucking porkchop I've had in my whole fucking life! You fucking rock! This is tight!"

Fucking, fucking, fuckity, fuck fuck. A quiet one passed through recently, and carefully whispered to me, "I never knew there were so many ways to use "fuck" in a sentence. I think I'm ready to go home now." She was one of the small handful of non-abused/non-abusive kids, who are sent to us for a reality check. Suddenly their parents are not so unreasonable, and they are desperate to return home to normal rules and boundaries.

Things I've lost track of: How many holes have been punched in walls, though I could estimate the number next to my face. How many times I've been called a bitch. The number of police visits, abuse stories, chairs thrown, and incident reports all blend together. However, the number of actual contacted hits in the last two years? Two. One between 2 kids that ended in less than 10 seconds, and one in my face. I hurt myself far more playing basketball.

Positive things I've lost track of: The number of ridiculous, laughing basketball games I've played. The number of children's stories I've read that the kids have never heard of. How many times I've watched a teenager draw for the first time, write a poem, play a song, and realize that they are actually good at it. Even, finally, the number of successful home placements and jobs has become blurry.

Now, it's time to get some sleep, to slow down a bit. I'll be working with a lot of the same kids, but in the daytime, and in fewer numbers. I'm afraid I'll get bored and antsy, but I'm sure I'll find something interesting to channel my energy. Something that involves less swearing. A pair of sparkly Mary Janes skipped by me on a four year old last week, and I said aloud, and luckily just out of earshot, "Damn, those are some nice fucking shoes!"

Chopped Thoughts

2008-09-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

It's a lovely morning for a woodchipper. Oh look, it has a little flag on it. Wake up, get some mulching in before lunch. What? It's 1 pm? How does that happen? No wonder my morning dreams were so noisy. Race cars, a broken xerox machine, and a flock of bees drowned out the words of the other dream participants. Eww, and one of them became an asshole english teacher from highschool, who I haven't thought of in years. Weird - to Betsy - Mr Scott - how the hell did he get in my dream? I can hardly remember having any interaction with him. The woodchipper turned someone else into him.

Sunny, crisp and blue today. I wish work started now. One more month of midnight swing shift, then the new job begins. Moving to a new time of day is almost as good as moving dwellings.

Tips

2008-09-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

You know your family is materialistic when ups trucks trigger flashbacks.

But why?

2008-09-24T11:07:00.001-07:00

So now, youtube won't work for me here? Oh well, at least I'm back home in green blogger land.

Wordpress is holding me hostage

2008-09-18T10:26:00.000-07:00

That dashboard feature is still gone. I can't post or delete my blog. I'm a technological retard. Blogger is for retards. Yay for retards. I tell my work kids not to say retard. It's inappropriate and I like to reserve it for my own personal use. One of my favorite co-workers says, "if it doesn't have a sexual orientation or a developmental disability, please don't call it gay or retarded." That phrase is reserved for staff. Thank you.

Early

2008-09-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

Back here now. I have no patience for plug-ins, the dashboard dealy is missing, and the font over at wordpress is making me itchy. Blogger's puffy print for computer retards suits me spot on.

I disappeared for a while, mired in social services burn out. I applied for about 52 jobs and 38 apartments in the last 2 weeks, and landed, nothing. Some exaggeration there, but not much. Then I had a good day again, and I was very happy to not have gotten any of the 73 jobs I applied for. Now, I am testing out a day schedule this week, in hopes for a little change and more sleep. It's 7:22 am. This is airport time. Except I'm only going four blocks.

Moving over here -

2008-08-17T13:29:00.000-07:00

- for a bit to see.

Mauve Matters

Mostly because I twisted my ankle, and I'm antsy for something complicated. For me, wordpress is complicated. But there you are.

so far

~

What would you say...you do here?

2008-08-15T19:18:00.001-07:00

I have people skills!

Stop writing and go to sleep

2008-08-10T03:15:00.000-07:00

I have sea legs, the day was so full. Among the rainy beach with romping dog, work duties of basketball and cake baking, hot sweaty dancing, and an unfamiliar living room speckled with pretty eyes, one shiny moment is gleaming through. I was writing the inventory of a girl's belongings at work, going through her make-up, noting each brand on the form for her to sign. Even with my new glasses, I had to squint closely at each name, holding it up to my face. Mass carrr a? No, mass what, mass aaa ger? Massager? Oh, she says, that's my vibrator, sorry about that.

Dog Makes Sleep

2008-08-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

So many things to dream of in eight luscious hours. Two consecutive such nights, and my memory is a storybook of images. Bright primaries, fragrant trees, and the energy to race through them. Last week, I declined a ride on a carnival train, because I was too weary to rise from the brown, prickly grass. I whined to myself that there were likely as many ants on the train as there were on my legs, and when I awoke for the zillionth time that evening, it took a full minute to know where and when I was. You know you're fatigued when you whine in your dreams.

But, now, I have the dog for 2 weeks, and clearly, I need to create permanent dogdom. The security is huge as my neighbors become sketchier each day, but truly, it is the warmth on my feet and the pulse of another life nearby. I can drop my guard and shut my brain off without worry. All is safe in the land of the furry.

Crispy

2008-08-01T11:09:00.000-07:00

I forget that mornings are so crispy and fresh. I'm trying a new insomnia tactic, setting my alarm in the morning, which worked last night. I got up at 8 after 3ish hours of sleep, and groggy though I was, the crispiness soothed me. I painted, coffeed, walked around the lake, and it was still daytime. There were so many hours of daylight yesterday! Went to sleep at midnight, and up at 10. It's still morning! Writing skills seem to be slipping, but who's judging, right?

Each hour of the day has it's own distinct quality, and I hate to miss any of them. Morning crispiness is a novelty, so I'll check that out for a while. The 11am hour is curious, you can see the sky thinking. Which way should I go today? Regardless of the morning being bright or dim, 11 seems to go neutral gray to reform it's plan.

I'd be hard pressed to pick a favorite, Bob, but 3am, it might be. The night is ending, traffic is an occasional hum. I turn off my music to hear the silence between the finally crashed barking dogs and the soon to be awake screeching birds. This has also always been the time when break-in's or domestic ugliness in the hood occur, giving this hour a lurking tension that could shatter the calm at any time. By 4 am, all is clear. (The writers of The Strangers figured that out.)

The trouble with 4 am for me is that morning is beginning, and if I'm still awake at this hour, I don't want to miss what's coming, and I tend to just stay up, which renders me useless for what does come.

5am is just irritating. Unless I'm on my way to an airport or in the 1st hour of a roadtrip. I could easily type away a 24 paragraph essay on the unique qualities of each hour, but now I'd rather be outside.

For Example

2008-07-30T02:14:00.001-07:00

I can't properly operate the sharing deal from youtube, but here you are.

People skills!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4OvQIGDg4I&feature=related

Why I can't sleep #3

2008-07-30T01:18:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired, my skin hurts. It's after 1 am, work is over, and my bed is waiting. Sometimes, I'm too spazzy to sleep, other times I can't leave a painting or crafty project. Tonight is the lesser, but most aggravating cause of insomnia: self-destructive worry over shortcomings. I'm hoping that putting this in print will drive the absurdity into my brain hard enough to knock me out.

I never thought a teen shelter would be my favorite job. It is depressing, chaotic, fun, uplifting, dangerous, easy, and natural. I'm good because I remember every detail kids tell me, and know what to do with it. I can de-escalate crazy shit, deal with ugly cps reporting, and basically I'm good and almost all of it.

The Butt. I took "attention to detail" off my resume, because it caused employers to notice typos. I have no "attention to detail," and filling out paperwork properly, and getting to the right person at the right time sucks. I can not collate properly if those kids lives depended on it, and in some cases, they do. I managed a crazy house last night, but screwed up a ton of paperwork. Everything turned out fine, but it stresses me out. Paperwork is bad.

Ha, I just made myself laugh. Cue Tom from Office Space. "I'm a people person, Dammit! I'm good with people! What is wrong with you?"

Yes, that was helpful.

Weird, it's still Monday

2008-07-21T12:12:00.000-07:00

I want to watch a movie, and I'm in foggy coffee mode. So here.

Ten movies you’d watch over and over:
Jaws, Grease, The Beastmaster, Stripes, Caddychack, Jeremiah Johnson, The Shining, Wizard of Oz, Sound of Music, Office Space. That was rapid fire movie listing, and pretty much covers my personal library. Ooh, except, I don't own Jaws and I should.

Nine people you enjoy the company of: To protect identities, let's do nine locales of those I love.
Kansas City, Los Angeles, Denver, Seattle, Nashville, Olympia, Woodinville, WA, Everett, WA, Augusta, GA.

Eight things you’re wearing: Eight? It's July.
-blue thermal top - well, July in Olympia
-red flannel pajamas
-blue fleece blanky - Olympia is home of the Eeyore Summer.
-blue sparkly toenail polish
(foreshadowing note - nothing I'm wearing is green)

Seven things on your mind:
work - wish that wasn't first
basketball - still a novelty that I love, AND, someone gave me shoes so that I can fall less and pivot more
batman movie - going to see it on thursday
silverfish painting that is developing, and general summer insect infestation
coffee - need a second cup, and need to vacuum
a really disturbing bad dream I had last night that doesn't make sense to me yet
crafty projects for kids, sort of a constant flow, I can't help it

Next is a boring question - let's add green

Six green objects you touch every day:
green water bottle - still off the DC Wagon, holding steady - wait, that makes no sense - can't think over the twitching
green purse - bought with one week's supply of DC$ I did not spend
green pine tree, it's 6 years old now and in the biggest pot I can find - soon it will need ground
green pillow, towel, general linens
green curtains - ho-made even
green car - there are days I don't drive, but I pat it as I walk by

Five things you do everyday: Other than basic hygiene and food consumption, I can't think of any five things I do every day. Hmmm. Ok: read something, make something, spaz out somewhere, listen to music, laugh at something.

Four things that you see when you turn your head to the left:
Paintings, fake spider on the wall, vacuum that is oh, so close, and an object that I need to send to someone in Kansas City.

Three of your favorite things that are red color:
diet coke, tab cans in the dark, blazing crack pipes

Two people who have influenced your life the most:
My monk Uncle and probably my dad, but it's hard to narrow this one down.

One person who has been nice to you today:
The one who shall receive the item on the table to the left.

Why I love my job, number Q7X52

2008-07-21T00:31:00.000-07:00

When basketball switched up to frisbee tonight at work, my extreme suckage was noted by all. From across the court, a shout, "You just might save the world, because you sure suck at everything else."

If I were the Grinch, my heart would burst its frame.

I Remember Now

2008-07-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

That was amazing. Really incredible. My eyes are all the way open and the birds don't irritate me. Twelve hour crash, mm, mm, mmmmm.

Tonight I will take my camera with me, so that when I return home, I can document the nightly pestilence that coats my front door. It's like Amityville Horror, but instead of flies, it is a flock of earwig-ant-looking-hybrids. There was also a large midwestern-style cockroach looking creature to the right, that I'm not ready to call a cockroach yet.

Something scary this way comes

2008-07-13T03:00:00.000-07:00

So far, I sleep even less without diet coke. How is that possible? One cup of coffee this morning, and it is this morning again. I saw the sun rise yesterday as I finally went under, then woke up 5 hours later. But, this bird was born, oooooooo. David Bowie is on the radio now, and that is always somehow cooler than me putting it on myself.

You Know Who You Are

2008-07-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

So, two of you have blog names that take up more than one line in my link list, and that bugs me. However, it would bug me more to somehow edit your titles. There. I had to say it.

Fickle

2008-07-07T12:05:00.001-07:00

Did I say I only blog when I'm crabby? That's not true, I'm not crabby right now, I'm just fascinated by these squid balls. I also have frozen peas strapped to my foot from a spastic basketball game, so I'm stuck sitting still for a bit. I'm not sure what the blog etiquette is on stealing other people's photos for your own blog, but I'm taking the chance here because just look at them, those inky squid balls. The photo was taken by Elyse Sewell, who writes like an assassin and documents food of my nightmares. Makes sense to me, if not to you. So, it's time to add more links to the side and she will be one. More blogetiquette quandry, I left myspace primarily over wanting to ditch specific "friends," and found it was easier just to close the page and start anew. How do other bloggerites feel about deleting a link that you've had up for a while? I'm prone to abstract guilt, and that sort of thing stresses me out. I guess that's another area that blogging allows me to practice on. Who cares, right? It's my blog right? Can I really worry about hurting someone's feelings that way? I could, but I shant. I started this blog privately with 8 readers, and got brave enough to "go public" a month or so in. I'm anonymous enough, that people I don't want to find me, likely won't, but if they stumble across me, oh well. I don't tell the locals or the co-workers, and I don't want to be linked by those who know me in real life. Maybe I'll let go of that last hang-up next month. Or maybe by the end of this post.

The stolen squid balls seem to have a built-in-anti-theft-device, and I can not post the picture here. So, go to her, and see for yourself.

Red Crack

2008-07-06T14:27:00.000-07:00

It seems that red crack is as hard to quit as pink crack. Here is me in my swank red gown, about to be bent over by the gleaming red crack pipe of love. I've only had 4 sips in 4 days, and the result is that I'm dreaming of my first love, which perhaps, I should have never abandoned. However, I do know a spot nearby that sells those pretty pink singles.

Worth It

2008-07-04T11:23:00.001-07:00

If I read through my old journals, I think, "dude, try whining a bit more." Then I note the dates, and the lapses in between entries. I look for even one page that is positive, and find none. I tend not to write when I'm at peace. I use writing to sort myself out, and blog writing has become a way to do it more honestly. Do I mean that I lie in my handwritten journals? Well, yes, actually. I'm a lot meaner in there too. Here, everything has to be honest and at least somewhat objective. My words are legible and waiting to confront me the next day. So, I haven't blogged in 2 weeks because I've been happy with nothing to vent about. Sometimes I need to post a video, because that better conveys my chipperness. Today? I'm frustrated with things that I feel I can't blog about. My brain is rehashing old gripes that are making me freshly angry again. Regrets are a waste of time, I know that, but I still feel like yelling at people who I should have yelled at louder the first time.

On the positive side of things, because I do hate whiners, I'm feeling better after being sick for a couple of days. I'm pretty sure I slept for 36 straight hours. I'm excited for the festivities tonight with people I dearly love. I have been sleeping in a BED for 3 days! Funny, maybe that's why I got sick, so my body could lounge in bed. You see, it would have been too self pitying to share that I have been sleeping on my couch for 10 months. Damn. 10 months since I lived with my husband, my dog, my bed. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, and other times I can hardly remember it all. A year ago today, I was miserable and accepting that there was no way out. But, that is never true, there is always a way out. You just might have to sleep on your couch for a while. You might even have to prop up your couch with books as it becomes a 3 legged couch. But, it's YOUR 3 legged couch, and you get to do what ever you want on it. It is worth it to make the effort to be happy.

Flight Of The Conchords - Bowie Song

2008-06-20T18:06:00.001-07:00

John Hartford (with Roy Huskey Jr.) - Gentle On My Mind

2008-06-15T13:45:00.001-07:00

I miss him.

The Cat. Stomp-John Hartford

2008-06-13T13:08:00.001-07:00

Goin' To Work In Tall Buildings - John Hartford

2008-06-13T13:03:00.001-07:00

Oh Hell

2008-06-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

How did I miss the fact that I had this interview on Friday the 13th?!? I had no idea. I'm golden, now!

"Off to work in tall buildings." John Hartford

hmm

2008-06-13T12:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in job interviews, I make random jokes that nobody understands. Then I try to explain myself with another joke. Then the panel exchanges confused glances as they write on their notepads. I resist asking what they are writing.

sweaty questions

2008-06-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

I just had a job interview, and I have no clue how it went. Possibly well, possibly less than impressive. They will let me know, "soon," they said.

I'm assuming soon means Monday if I'm lucky. Damn the anticipation.

but

2008-06-12T02:51:00.000-07:00

my nose is cold

Book Meme

2008-06-06T01:45:00.000-07:00

Because, this is an actual meme, so to speak. It's the top 106 books most often marked as “unread” by LibraryThing’s users.

Library Thing is pretty cool, which I found on rayne of terror along with this list. I've grouped them into ones I read, started but stalled, never read, and never heard of. I'm surprised how many I've never heard of. This seems like a fine activity to lull me to sleep. Yoshimi Battling the Robots helps the sleep groove too.

Done Read It

The Odyssey (136/11183) - I like this and most mythology really
Ulysses (135/6385)
The Iliad (117/8902)
Foucault's Pendulum (101/5730)
Dracula (100/7076)
The Grapes of Wrath (99/7967)
Gulliver's Travels (88/4967)
The Road (67/5323)
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation (72/6470) - Kill me now, was not bad enough the first time around?
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (75/2570)
In Cold Blood (75/5603)
Lady Chatterley's Lover (73/3246)
A Confederacy of Dunces (73/6186) - One of my top favorites.
The Canterbury Tales (108/6298)
The Scarlet Letter (82/7927)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (82/6014)
Watership Down (72/6362) - Another favorite
The Picture of Dorian Gray (89/7338)
Frankenstein (97/9327)
The Aeneid (71/5154)
Memoirs of a Geisha (94/11834)
Brave New World (93/12677)
Angela's Ashes (77/6498)
Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies (104/7638)
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli (72/6483)
Oliver Twist (83/4488)

Fits and Starts

Jane Eyre (124/14044) Bo-Ring
Wuthering Heights (162/12388)Notice how many of these books are on this list
The Name of the Rose (120/7876) Maybe another day, I liked Foucault's Pendulum
Pride and Prejudice (108/18747)
Treasure Island (69/4736) - I've never read the whole thing, but now I'm reading it out loud at work.
Dune (89/9416)
The Kite Runner (106/13964)
Great Expectations (106/8790)
Life of Pi (105/12940)
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (71/5658)
A Clockwork Orange (83/6890)
Middlesex (91/9084)
The War of the Worlds (66/3131)
David Copperfield (69/4408)
Cryptonomicon (78/6203)
Robinson Crusoe (82/4528)

Never Read, Might Someday

Anna Karenina (211/9152)
One Hundred Years of Solitude (183/12222)
Crime and Punishment (176/10899)
Catch-22 (158/11121)
A Tale of Two Cities (124/7600)
Moby Dick (119/7879)
Love in the Time of Cholera (114/7312)
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books (96/4491)
The Book Thief (67/3743)
Les Misérables (73/4799)
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (89/6766)
The history of Tom Jones (67/2171)
A Farewell to Arms (71/5219)

Never Heard of These - new things to look up

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (236/9195)
The Silmarillion (155/8980)
Vanity Fair (115/3885)
The Blind Assassin (110/4938)
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (97/6549)
Mrs. Dalloway (97/5684)
The Satanic Verses (88/3305)
Mansfield Park (88/5483)
The Inferno (84/5988)
The Corrections (84/5146)
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (83/6091)
The Historian: A Novel (108/6596)
Middlemarch (96/4239
The Sound and The Fury (94/5141)
Quicksilver (92/4107)
American Gods (92/10560)
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (90/9089)
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (89/6766)
The Satanic Verses (88/3305)
Mansfield Park (88/5483)
The Inferno (84/5988)
The Corrections (84/5146)
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (83/6091)
To the Lighthouse (83/4711)
Persuasion (82/6634)
Anansi Boys (81/6665)
Atonement (80/7193)
The God of Small Things (80/5615)
A Short History of Nearly Everything (79/6433)
Dubliners (78/5643)
Oryx and Crake (78/4069)
Beloved (77/5651)
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed (76/3914)
The Amber Spyglass (72/6819)
Sons and Lovers (69/2617)
Possession (67/4211)
Tender is the Night (66/3204)

Never Read, Probably Won't

Don Quixote (152/6835)
The Brothers Karamazov (136/7309)
War and Peace (132/6123)
Madame Bovary (132/6396)
Emma (117/9347)
The Three Musketeers (87/4221)
The Once and Future King (81/4375)
The Time Traveler's Wife (105/11628)
Atlas Shrugged (102/6103)
Sense and Sensibility (96/8798)
The Count of Monte Cristo (95/5295)
The Fountainhead (83/5925)
Tess of the D'Urbervilles (83/4825)

Bitch Tits

2008-06-05T13:16:00.000-07:00

I woke up with Bob and his Bitch Tits in my head. I've been battling Fight Club style insomnia, and I need to own the movie again, so I can put it on next time the 4 am walls taunt and tease me. This morning, (yes I know it's after 1 pm), I'm basking in the upside of sleeplessness, the post-crash full body exhale of relief. Night before last I did not sleep, not at all. I watched the numbers turn over and the alarm sound, and out of confused spite, I hit snooze and watched 10 more numbers turn until it was time to get up. Then I worked from 8am to midnight, which is actually the very best thing to do on no sleep, because it guarantees THE CRASH. I left work last night, with the house still standing, kids asleep, and I slept for 12 straight hours. Right this second, I can't name a single thing in life that felt better than last night's sleep. The sweet slurpy-ness of the word SLEEP, soothes me, and I love my pillow so much I might marry it.

Glittery Pools

2008-06-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

My social services tantrum wave crashed, and left me floating in a shallow pool of leeches, starfish and plastic swingsets. I might as well enjoy the ride, said the parrot as it was being dragged along by the cat. That's gypsy speak, not me, but you get my drift. A fuck you here, and a fat bitch there, here a fight, there a scream, everywhere a mess mess. So, I took a break to the park with the one non-freaking-out kid, where he apologized for that whole knife deal a couple weeks back. We swang, we teeter-tottered, and we talked about how giving in to the comedy of life is the key to surviving it. Good food helps too.

How did "survey" become "meme"?

2008-05-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

I'm about to do a SURVEY as I sip my coffee, and I'm hung up as always on the word MEME. This trendy concept is teetering on the edge of the "where's the beef?" and "not" trash sack. According to some random site,

"A meme is:
An idea that, like a gene, can replicate and evolve.
A unit of cultural information that represents a basic idea that can be transferred from one individual to another, and subjected to mutation, crossover and adaptation.
A cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one generation to another by nongenetic means (as by imitation); "memes are the cultural counterpart of genes"."

So, I suppose that a survey can count as #2, but I have a hard time viewing my personal stats as "a unit of cultural information." Granted, my words sound more important when framed this way, but I'd just rather have some fries with ketchup.

So:

Favorite person (outside family)? I've turned all my favorite people inside out, and now they are my family.

Favorite food? Diet Coke, which I'm considering quitting lately, but........

Quirks about you? I get hung up on stupid catch phrases that irritate me for no good reason. So if a meme is an idea that replicates and evolves, like a gene, what are some modern-day examples? Recycling? Pilates? Midget Porn? The Brazilian Wave? Maybe it's because I work with kids, or maybe it's that I like fibrous materials, but Dude, grown-ups should have body hair. There is enough to consider when removing clothing for the first time with someone, without worrying about slippery or stubbly baldness. Let's paint banners and picket. Ban the Brazilian! Bring back the Bush!

Any regrets in life? I'm a stubborn Pollyanna. I really don't do regret, I can name something positive I got out of every single experience.

Favorite Charity/Cause? I think I covered that two questions back.

Favorite Blog recently? Yarnwhore pointed me here: elyse sewell

Something you can’t get enough of? Diet Coke. Do I need to go back to Tab and just have one a day? I found a smelly market here that sells them by the singles. Chug, toss, peel out.

Worst job you’ve ever had? This is almost a regret, if I were to have those, olan mills family portraits. I sold my soul on the "dinner shift" for two months.

What job would you pay NOT to have? Anything to do with fish or cockroaches.

If you could be a fly on the wall, where? Everywhere. I would be fly battalions and know all. Except I'd rather be a gnat, so I don't have to eat my own vomit.

Favorite Bible verse right now? "That's a tough one Bob, I'd be hard pressed to pick a favorite."

Got any confessions? Now I have Violent Femmes in my head.

If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it? Art supplies and a vacation to a friend.

Favorite thing about your house? It's quiet and mine.

Least favorite thing about your house? I still need a dog.

One thing you are bad at? Paperwork, stripping speaker wire.

One thing you’re good at? My job, crafty crap, and I can cook now.

What makes you feel sexy? Body hair. Sorry. Hmm..... Saccharin.

What is the hardest part of your job? Politics.

When are you most relaxed? In the middle of a painting.

What stresses you out? Paperwork, understanding insurance crap.

What can you not live without? Art supplies and crafty crap.

Why do you blog? Because I miss paper-writing, and I like to hear myself blather on.

That's no heater

2008-05-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning thinking I'd left the heater on high, but no. The warmth is natural Springtime beaming in, considerate and replenishing. There are large amounts of trash outside that landed throughout the night on the lawn across the street, and a sign I need to go investigate more closely. I was ushered to my car by police when I went out last night. My block was lined with cop cars, a Jail van, and an armored car/van/contraption. As I pulled away, about 10 heavily armed cops were surrounding the house across the street. Half of them were still there until 3am. My favorite part was the cry of "Cops Smoke Crack!" from a passing car, followed by a loud "Wump" of something landing on the lawn. Ballsy, eh? I was really amused at how much heckling took place. It seems that I'm not the only disgruntled civilian in town.

Some of my best friends are cops

2008-05-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

That's such a bad joke, oh well. A smidge of my cop faith was restored last night. When I said I had encountered one or two good ones, he was who I was thinking of, and the one who showed up last night. He was compassionate, realistic and human. He was kind to the kid while arresting him, and he was a hard-ass on the phone to detention when they tried to refuse him. The kid had threatened me with a knife this time, and another staff with other various heavy objects. Dispatch is tired of hearing about this kid, so they only sent one cop, instead of the usual pair. So, there finally is the chance that he won't be back in the house today.

The day began with adrenaline and chaos, and ended with storytime. I love that teenagers let me read to them. I read "There's a Hair in My Dirt," by Gary Larson, and one of them exclaimed, "this guy's as weird as you!" Now I have a list of kid book requests, so I'm going to the library on my way to work. And tomorrow, I have the day off.

Update

2008-05-08T14:16:00.000-07:00

So, the kid spent 14 hours in juvie and returned to the house. Nothing has changed. Assault charges are pending, and he's still waiting for a hospital placement. The whole thing seems like a huge waste of time and mental effort. The arrest means nothing, which brings us, (staff, us), back to the original position of why bother calling the police at all. We don't call based on the action of being hit or shoved. We call when a kid is so out of control that the other kids are unsafe. Usually, we call after 4-5 separate incidents, or if a kid refuses to put down a weapon of some sort. But, once it's down the police won't take them. So Kid X sets the stick, bottle of bleach, glass shard, and nods respectfully to the officer for about 20 minutes. Which is handy, in that it removes a kid from the group for that amount of time, but useless in the long run. It seems that the only reason to call the cops is to get a kid out of the house for the night, which I guess, is helpful. But, it doesn't help the kid at all, it just shuts him up for a few hours. So, blah blah blah, that's my system vent about the depressing side of my job.

On the flip side, my hippie neighbor gave me his apartment and all it's contents yesterday. Bequeathed, so to speak, so he can bolt for the midwest, because that's how he rolls. His words, not mine. I haven't investigated yet, but the curiosity will have me there by tomorrow. Only in O-Town, or only to me, I'm not sure. Maybe I gave birth to this town in a former life.

Cop Vent

2008-05-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

I have never liked cops. Police officers. I figured it was just me for a while, and I'd get over it as I matured. Became legal. Looked normal. Whatever. This a venty vent, no flowers today. Algernon rots in the slammer. I have met 2 maybe 3 good ones, and I know there must be more. I know there must be police who have hearts and open minds and use them. There is one in particular who is awesome, and when I know he is nearby, I'm more likely to call them when I need them. Last night at work was crappy and high-pitched, and there seemed to be hardly a minute not spitting with adrenaline. I pressed charges against one of my kids for shoving me. This is the second time a kid has been arrested due to me. I hate this part of the job more than when the toilet exploded in my face and hair. He could have been arrested on saturday for shoving me then, or grabbing and pushing an old lady staff, or throwing a stick at yet another staff's face, or shoving me three separate times on sunday. We called the police earlier yesterday when he was running around the house with knives from the kitchen. The cop said, you see, he was just kidding and doesn't understand. The cop actually was very compassionate to the kid, so noted and appreciated. However, he refused to arrest him over the knives. (Regular table knives, not chopping ones.) Never mind the other kids living in the house. We called again after I got shoved twice, and the cop said, "What do you want me to do, he's only 12." Yep, 12. With numerous assault charges. I called all the right bosses, and they all said press charges, and the cop grilled me on how is this therapeutic for the kid. He said he's not in the business of arresting 12 year olds. Really? Because, that's my favorite part of the job. By the time the cop actually took him, the kid was medicated and curled up in pajamas. I wish they could arrest a kid the next morning and let him sleep, but no. So, the cop shuffled him out in his pj's and I was heartless wretch who signed off on the paperwork. So, even though this is a rant about being treated shittily by the po po, the po po treated the kid how I wanted him to. Fucked up twist. Maybe it's just me who is always on the wrong side of the law. I don't know. I just know that last night sucked, and I'm still rattled and need lots of loud music, and a shower.

Cop Killer

2008-05-07T12:18:00.001-07:00

~

2008-05-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

~

2008-05-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

Swank

2008-05-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

Check out my high-techness to the right. Yes, it's one of those fancy counter dealies. I started at 111, and I'm pretty sure most hits since are me messing with it, but still. I might as well have built a robot.

I'm not so much in the mood to go to work today. Oh well, too bad for me. Means I need to do something messy when I get there.

Go Suck a Hoof

2008-05-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

At least I'm not a vegetarian. Are hooves and connective tissue really that much worse than muscle and skin? Before yesterday, I would have said absolutely, but now I have to reorganize my values. I thought Ashley was whacked yesterday making non-gelatin krispie treats. I also thought they were marshmellows, not mallows. But, it seems it was I who was whacked and woefully misinformed. My information is outdated by about 150 years. I shared my plight with a co-worker who plans to laugh at me for the next 3 weeks. He said, "What, you thought marshmallows came from the marshmallow plant, that grows on the bank of a marsh?"

Yes, that's exactly what I thought, dammit. I did some fancy internet research, and learned that I was right! Or, that I would have been right if it were just a century or so earlier.

From recipes.com

They are called "marshmallows" because part of the early recipe called for sap from the root of the marshmallow plant.
According to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, a marshmallow is:

1: a pink-flowered European perennial herb (Althaea officinalis) of the mallow family that is naturalized in the eastern U.S. and has a mucilaginous root sometimes used in confectionery and in medicine; 2: a confection made from the root of the marshmallow or from corn syrup, sugar, albumen, and gelatin beaten to a light spongy consistency
That word "mucilaginous" means "jelly-like." [My new favorite word.] Later, the root was replaced by gelatin, and that is how modern marshmallows are made.

From about.com

"Marshmallow candy dates back to ancient Egypt where it was a honey-based candy flavored and thickened with the sap of the root of the Marsh-Mallow plant (althea officinalis). Marsh-Mallow grows in salt marshes [HA!] and on banks near large bodies of water. [It must grow on the banks of the River Wahoo.] It is common in the eastern United States. Until the mid 1800's, marshmallow candy was made using the sap of the Marsh-Mallow plant. Gelatin replaces the sap in the modern recipes."

"Nineteenth century doctors extracted juice from the marsh mallow plant's roots and cooked it with egg whites and sugar, then whipped the mixture into a foamy meringue that later hardened, creating a medicinal candy used to soothe children's sore throats. Eventually, advanced manufacturing processes and improved texturing agents eliminated the need for the gooey root juice altogether. Unfortunately, that eliminated the confection's healing properties as a cough suppressant, immune system booster and wound healer."

So there is more than I ever wanted to know about marshMELLOWS. I want a marsh mallow plant and I want to try the real deal. Until then I must ponder the connective tissue assortment that I have ingested over the years.

rice krispie treats, smores, peeps, yes I like peeps, that weird chocolate orange mallow candy, mallomars, marshmallow fluff, mmm suck that right up, and just basic, pop em in your mouth, single mallowy marshmallows.

I don't think I want to stop, even though I'm flashing back to watching my dog slurp, shluurp, shhlluuurpp, his rawhide into soft, white, stringy, slimy, mucilaginous nastiness. The silver lining to all this, is that I might as well start eating jello again.

Midwinter Jicker

2008-04-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

I'm sure Olympia is on some part of the way to Solla Salloo. Good Heavens, maybe it IS Solla Salloo, and that's the whole point. Hell. The river, Wahoo is racing down the street. It's dumping midwestern buckets out there, washing away the hail pebbles from moments ago. There is just enough light from the blue spots in the sky to notice the cherry blossoms dodging the raindrops. Whoops, I refilled my coffee, and it's done now, very bright, yellowy gray, but bright.

I get the blog thing now, I like this just because I like to write, and I like to read. Go Speed Racer. One of my favorite parts of school was the paper writing, and reading other people's work. Lately, I'm really enjoying all these blogs I'm reading. Finally started Streets of Laredo too, and that is a hard hitter so far. Anyway, phlegm brains make for disjointed writing. Moving on. Here's where I test my high tech linking abilities.

The first blogs I read were friends splendid sustenance and second overtime, or at least those that came before, never mind. Someone is whistling in my ear, and as far as I can tell, I am alone. I found chobitss randomly, and now I spy her on other pages I read. I can not explain beyond the pure pinkness, why I like her so much. I guess I'm fascinated by her food pictures and her cheerful disposition.

Then there is a small cluster of pages I read sometimes, and just recently, when I clicked a link, it led to myself, which made me laugh. They are in no particular order, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some, all and sundry, sprinting to hell, absolutely nothing novel or unique, no really, it's just my face, i write, and vw sista.

The sky is now screaming blue. Out.

Happy Days in my Head

2008-04-27T14:55:00.002-07:00

Ok, cool, the youtube video worked. Is there a way to put it into a post though, with writing, or does it have to be separate?

Anyway, the other day I woke up with a Happy Days episode in my head. The premiere of Spike. I don't want to hear any scrappy doo references or sell-out shark jumping pointers. I love every single happy days episode, plus all following spin-offs.

Laverne and Shirley are babysitting hellion children from my work, and rope Ritchie and Fonzie into helping. Fonz freaks out and bolts for the door declaring - "The Fonz don't hit kids." To Ritchie's, "where are you going?" He says, "to find someone who does."

Spike shows up, threatens everyone into submission, and everyone has a happy day. I guess I don't watch t.v. much now because I'm still laughing out loud at Happy Days. So, I couldn't find that episode, but I did find Crispin Glover as Roach. I love watching the Fonz teach college.

Crispin Glover on Happy Days

2008-04-27T14:55:00.001-07:00

The most beautiful bookshelf in town

2008-04-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

It's finished! I'm so proud. Look, it's red like the tree painting, which is upside down at the moment. Look at the smooth finish and lovingly rounded corners. Notice how Tom Jones is waiting to sit on the bottom shelf. I've had my stereo in the kitchen cupboards for months now because I lack the perfect shelf. I'm weird about electronics that way. But, now, all comes together in deep red wood. Mm mm mmm.

Finished Drawing

2008-04-22T21:47:00.000-07:00

Half painting really, watercolor pencils, colored pencils and a bit of acrylic paint for the bride. A lot of pencil sharpening went into this picture, and was fun and comical. Like a book, I'm sort of sad it's done. But, onward to something wet and more blendy.

There is a lot of space left here, so I think I'll fill it. Are these pictures blurry, or is it me? I know I need some spectacles, so hard to say.

Next morning, Wednesday. I dreamt of this crazy cherry tree. I was tasting it, and I was disappointed that it tasted like bubble gum. It's very fleshy looking, don't you think?

To My Left

2008-04-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

Two Halves

2008-04-14T12:34:00.000-07:00

Here are two drawings in progress, that I'm stalling on, and hoping to boost my motivation by sharing. The wedding picture is cracking me up, and is for a co-worker, who has wooed my heart with her sexed-up-soccer-mom ways. Plus, she is a huge part of why I can cook now. Ordinarily, I never, ever do commissions, except for the occasional mural. I love to make art for other people, but I don't take money, and I don't draw images from other people's heads. The conversation intro of "you draw, right?" is usually followed by a yellowed photograph emerging from someone's pocket, in hopes that I can recreate it into something that doesn't require a magnifying glass to comprehend. When I balk, the reply, is "but I'll pay you," to which I say then Hell No. See, when someone asks me to paint a vision from their head, it can only look like my interpretation of that vision. That can disappoint. When you add money into the mix, the pressure of matching visions escalates and skews the entire process. I feel guilty if I disappoint, and the fun is gone. So, I had to laugh when this lovely woman produced this blurred image from her pocket for me to reproduce. I refused her money, firmly planted the word "interpretive" in her head, and said yes. Because I like her that much. Now, it's close to complete, and I fear it's muddiness. I fear the tree on the left, and I'm not sure of the mountainous forest in the background. I'm never unsure of my own visions, this is what happens. Let's not gloss over the psychobabble angle of drawing a wedding picture from a fresh divorce standpoint either. My dear-pain-in-the-ass co-worker suggested I think of this as therapy and pay her. I admit, she has a point. But, although it's a bittersweet project, I'm still a Pollyanna romantic, and the springtime happy image makes me smile. I just hope I don't regret my choice of watercolors, because they sure muddy up in an unskilled hand.

Next, half a lizard. The endangered chicken-foot lizard. He's just hanging out, wondering if anyone will ever finish him. Trouble is, there is a burning building on the flip-side that is slightly more demanding.

Sunday Visuals

2008-04-13T13:53:00.000-07:00

There are some tantalizing secrets today. Streets of Laredo sits unopened, but I dreamt of dusty horses as an appetizer. I want to paint everything lately. I would paint this trailer for Lars and the Real Girl. There aren't a lot of movies that catch my eye, but this is one. Looks like there might be a few good scary ones coming up too. Paintings ------one moment.

Why I Don't Miss T.V.

2008-04-06T14:24:00.000-07:00

I've never really been a huge t.v. watcher, mostly I just binged out on Top Model marathons when nobody was looking. But, now I just have super mario brothers and a dvd player which mostly plays music. ~Someone just honked at me, driving by my apartment. ~ Traffic on wet pavement is soothing, possibly more so than the ocean, or at least equally so. Anyway, a few surreal moments from last night. Does the word "surreal" seem passe to you? What about the word, "passe?"

~I'm higher than you. No, I'm higher. I'm a geek, I'm a spaz, I'm a retard. I'm a freak, I'm a spaz, and I'm higher than you. Swing racing. Cherry blossoms sprinkling down between the raindrops. Flash to yesterday and he's wielding jagged glass and humping door-jams. He'll be in juvie next week, but they're full now. It's a concrete hotel, you have to have a reservation most of the time, at least a week or two out.

~Selecting condoms with random guy staff, for a 15 year old, who's claiming to be a neo-nazi, but his jet black eyebrow stubble is starting to poke back through, and "no, you can't have a razor." Would you believe that we have a huge bag of condoms and lube behind the fax machine?

~Recovering over 2am biscuits and gravy, asked the waitress about the "hot link", as opposed to the sausage links and sausage patty. "Oh, that's just something on the menu, we don't actually have that." Jesus was playing pull-tabs, my first time there was in 94. I'm fond of the people at the table, fleeting, yet comforting.

Nothingness Shuffle

2008-04-04T13:06:00.000-07:00

That's my goal today, my day off, the goal of nothingness. Went on a drive in the sunny rain, perfect. Now, for more nothingness, a silly survey that I like because I'm listening to forgotten music. This came from redmolly, who I found on Ashley's page, and who I tried to link to, but I feebed out, and couldn't handle it for some reason.

So, if you want to play too, do this.

1. put your music player on shuffle
2. press forward with each question
3. use the song title as the answer to the question

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"I'll fly Away" Allison Krauss & Gillian Welch - From the Oh Brother Where art Thou soundtrack - And I flew on a drive, sure.

WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE?
"Friday, I'm in Love" The Cure - Pretty funny that it's friday, no?

WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU?
"Steel Stars" Pan American - Hmm, sounds pretty.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Let's Lynch the Landlord" Dead Kennedys - yes, yes, yes

WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?
"Unconsciously Screaming" The Flaming Lips - I love picturing strangers unconsciously screaming as they pass me on the street.

WHAT DO YOUR EXES THINK OF YOU?
"The Land of the Gun" Immortal Technique

HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
"The Fly" Dr. Dre - These answers are funny. And personal even.

HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE?
"Magic Window" Boards of Canada

WILL YOU GET MARRIED?
"Bag Full of Thoughts" The Flaming Lips

WILL YOU HAVE KIDS?
"99 Problems" Ice-T - I swear, I'm not editing any of this.

ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL?
"Teddy Roosevelt's Guns" Silver Mt. Zion - I'm good at what I'm interested in, but I know zip about Teddy Roosevelt.

WILL YOU BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE?
"My Own Planet" The Flaming Lips - Hell yes, I like this answer. I'm also seeing that my itunes shuffle with over 10,000 songs is heavily slanted towards The Flaming Lips. Who can blame it, what's next?

WHAT SONGS SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
"It's Gonna Rain" Violent Femmes - Pretty much a guarantee when your birthday is in under Northwest Autumn skies.

WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"If Everybody Looked the Same" Vertigo - Sweet, rave on me.

THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE
Holy Moly - Could it get better than this? ------"Go Down Emanuel Road" Harry Belafonte - I think we were born together, or something along those lines.

YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE . . .
"Frohgemut" Roedelius - I now know how to put my feelings into words.

HAPPY TIMES?
"Run To The Hills" Iron Maiden

SAD TIMES?
"Simple Things" - Zero 7 - Tis a melancholy song.

EVERYDAY?
"Tears of a Clown" - Andre Nickatina - Not so off, really. Either this or the English Beat version would work.

FOR TOMORROW?
"Cop Killer" Body Count and Ice T - Tonight we get even.

FOR YOU?
For me, for you? What does this mean? - "Elevate Myself" Granddaddy - more music I forgot about though

WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME?
"Dark Hollow" Grateful Dead - sounds grim, but it's a pretty pep me up song actually

WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS HARD?
"Log of the Deadwood" - The Orb

WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING?
"Garbage Man" - The Cramps - Sure - I could dance to this.

WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER?
"Welcome to Atlanta" Outkast - I don't want to go to Atlanta.

YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
"Teardrop Explodes" - Log Cabin - Or it might be the other way around. I can't tell, it's a mystery track.

THE SONG THAT YOU WILL PUT AS YOUR SUBJECT?
"Dead" Pixies - What subject? That makes no sense. But, I'm enjoying my itunes shuffling. Maybe this survey was put out by the marketing department at itunes HQ. Well, if so, they win. For now I shall paint and continue enjoying the surprise of the shuffle.

Stars, Not Maps

2008-03-30T12:18:00.000-07:00

I like this secret. Whether it's we, you, or me, really, no map is necessary. If I had one, I'd miss my next bus while looking for the "you are here" arrow and trying to determine the appropriate destination and it's exact mileage.

Recent spaces that I never would have seen on a map:

~The foreign country that is my mailbox holding Pearly's maiden mail. But wait, I've been to foreign countries, and this seems vaguely familiar.

~Surly gang member, giggling over easter egg dyes. "Do we get to hunt for them too?!?" You bet.

~Explaining to a new crowd how my ex-husband's nephew became one of my best friends. His people, "you're bringing your divorced aunt to the bar?"

~Fielding the question, "Could I have your phone number, so I can ask you out sometime?" Censoring my initial response of, "What? Why are you asking me that? What the hell?"

~Speaking such sentiments somewhat publicly.

Five Gallons of Ham

2008-03-25T00:56:00.000-07:00

I'm making 24 hour Ham Hock Soup, right this second. At least, I think that giant bone is a hock. I simmered the bone and meat with navy beans, celery, onion, and spices for the last eight hours at work. The catch is that it is illegal to put any food in the work fridge that is not in a sealed plastic container, and this concoction sits in a five gallon steel vat. So, I sloshed it home where it will sit in my fridge until tomorrow. I shall shlep it back again for tomorrow night's dinner. Don't you think it would be more sanitary just to leave it at work untouched and unshlepped in the vat? I do. I love how delicious it tastes while looking so vomitish in the shiny vat.

Un-Stick Thyself

2008-03-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

~ Toss cave-dwelling paranoia, and make blog public. Done. Bring on the freaks.

~ Bitch out the landlord, touting legal rights and basic respect. Done. Weirdly effective. My shit is fixed with an apology and a smile. Guilt level is surprisingly low.

~ Transform two unfinished baby quilts into a full size, fuck-all, awesome quilt for myself. Sorry, potential recipients. Your time will come.

~ Finish boring paper and name change crap. Like this week. Serious.

~ Bake a ham. An Easter Ham, with tators, pie, the works. In two hours. I've never baked a ham before. Seems that you take it out of the wrapper and put it in the oven. I thought it would be more intense, oh well.

~ Hunt for eggs in the rain. I took this photo from my back door. I'll bring my mudruckers.

~ Technically, I'm not really stuck. I'm just impatient and Transition has worn out it's welcome.

Where I am, I am, was and will be

2008-03-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

Thing for to dig food - spoon - is where I am - I'm not normally a simpson's quoter, but that one applies here. ------->with sticky tape, but stuck on your jeans first, so it's not overly sticky as to pull of bits of the substrate. Process needs patience, is patience, and creates patience. Process vs. content, process vs. product, processssssss is infinite and active, product is done and still. Content is noisy and muddled, process is quiet and clear.

Really Rosie Loves Yarnwhore

2008-03-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7mSseAx6rg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fsgk8LNEs7o&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GC1MndHfig&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlZbguxRlIU&feature=related

Filler Blogging

2008-03-12T13:53:00.001-07:00

Too long since the last post. That chicken was scrumptious, and the carcass became chicken soup with rice, which always makes me sing Really Rosie to myself. Is this all I have to say?

Yep.