Pelagia Noctiluca

Pelagia Noctiluca

Sunday, February 6

Day 14 Save the Drama for Your Mama

Dear R,

You infiltrate most of my days, and I consider this a huge improvement. Why must you be so crazy? Or, rather, why must your crazy be so consistently hostile? Don't you know Crazy is supposed to go up and down? Where are my ups??

Day 1, I hate your crazy. Like an invisible electric fence, laid in frantic zig zags. You call to me in baby voice sing song, electric jolts still surprise me.

Day 2, my space, my fence, no more collar. I love each year, each holiday, each person in my life more now that I don't hear your voice. I love that I found a compromise that keeps you away from me, and eases my guilt. Writing letters, yes still for now, phone calls, no.

Day 3, Your voice sends me into a small ball, trapped way up high in that spider web. I get stuck there sometimes. It's hard to forgive myself for not being stronger than your voice.

Day 4, Frankly, I've been forgiving you since I could speak, and it's getting old.

Day 5, Someday, mail and packages won't give me a panic attack.

Day 6, I don't want to attend your mother's funeral with you. I am pretty sure I don't have to. Man, I must look like a bitch right now. Too bad I don't care.

Day 7 and Day 8, welcome to Libra Land. Enough said.

Day 9, I can not think of a single thing I haven't tried, sometimes, you just have to let go.

Day 25, Because I'm adaptable, and great at ducking projectiles.

Day 26, Never, I am really stubborn. This life is mine Motherfuckers, and you'll take it over my dead body. Plus, I am a great self-entertainer.

Day today, Something positive that we share. Thank you for being a dog person and introducing me to the Greatful Dead. I love whoever you are within all that nastiness.

Love, your daughter, Patty, Pearly, XT


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

7 comments:

Ashley said...

Nice!

Teapot Lou said...

Wow.......that was intense

Patty Purviss said...

Thanks guys!

betsy said...

I like that you pulled it all together as Day 14!

Patty Purviss said...

The biggest annoyance with this post was that horrid, "you are my hero" song playing in my head.

But, thanks, I've been trying to compile these thoughts for a while.

Dammit, that song is in my head again!

Jeanette said...

really good, I liked it! Gives me a few ideas lol

Yo is Me said...

Look at you with your balls!