Pelagia Noctiluca

Pelagia Noctiluca

Wednesday, July 30

For Example

I can't properly operate the sharing deal from youtube, but here you are.

People skills!

Why I can't sleep #3

I'm so tired, my skin hurts. It's after 1 am, work is over, and my bed is waiting. Sometimes, I'm too spazzy to sleep, other times I can't leave a painting or crafty project. Tonight is the lesser, but most aggravating cause of insomnia: self-destructive worry over shortcomings. I'm hoping that putting this in print will drive the absurdity into my brain hard enough to knock me out.

I never thought a teen shelter would be my favorite job. It is depressing, chaotic, fun, uplifting, dangerous, easy, and natural. I'm good because I remember every detail kids tell me, and know what to do with it. I can de-escalate crazy shit, deal with ugly cps reporting, and basically I'm good and almost all of it.

The Butt. I took "attention to detail" off my resume, because it caused employers to notice typos. I have no "attention to detail," and filling out paperwork properly, and getting to the right person at the right time sucks. I can not collate properly if those kids lives depended on it, and in some cases, they do. I managed a crazy house last night, but screwed up a ton of paperwork. Everything turned out fine, but it stresses me out. Paperwork is bad.

Ha, I just made myself laugh. Cue Tom from Office Space. "I'm a people person, Dammit! I'm good with people! What is wrong with you?"

Yes, that was helpful.

Monday, July 21

Weird, it's still Monday

I want to watch a movie, and I'm in foggy coffee mode. So here.

Ten movies you’d watch over and over:
Jaws, Grease, The Beastmaster, Stripes, Caddychack, Jeremiah Johnson, The Shining, Wizard of Oz, Sound of Music, Office Space. That was rapid fire movie listing, and pretty much covers my personal library. Ooh, except, I don't own Jaws and I should.

Nine people you enjoy the company of: To protect identities, let's do nine locales of those I love.
Kansas City, Los Angeles, Denver, Seattle, Nashville, Olympia, Woodinville, WA, Everett, WA, Augusta, GA.

Eight things you’re wearing: Eight? It's July.
-blue thermal top - well, July in Olympia
-red flannel pajamas
-blue fleece blanky - Olympia is home of the Eeyore Summer.
-blue sparkly toenail polish
(foreshadowing note - nothing I'm wearing is green)

Seven things on your mind:
work - wish that wasn't first
basketball - still a novelty that I love, AND, someone gave me shoes so that I can fall less and pivot more
batman movie - going to see it on thursday
silverfish painting that is developing, and general summer insect infestation
coffee - need a second cup, and need to vacuum
a really disturbing bad dream I had last night that doesn't make sense to me yet
crafty projects for kids, sort of a constant flow, I can't help it

Next is a boring question - let's add green

Six green objects you touch every day:
green water bottle - still off the DC Wagon, holding steady - wait, that makes no sense - can't think over the twitching
green purse - bought with one week's supply of DC$ I did not spend
green pine tree, it's 6 years old now and in the biggest pot I can find - soon it will need ground
green pillow, towel, general linens
green curtains - ho-made even
green car - there are days I don't drive, but I pat it as I walk by

Five things you do everyday: Other than basic hygiene and food consumption, I can't think of any five things I do every day. Hmmm. Ok: read something, make something, spaz out somewhere, listen to music, laugh at something.

Four things that you see when you turn your head to the left:
Paintings, fake spider on the wall, vacuum that is oh, so close, and an object that I need to send to someone in Kansas City.

Three of your favorite things that are red color:
diet coke, tab cans in the dark, blazing crack pipes

Two people who have influenced your life the most:
My monk Uncle and probably my dad, but it's hard to narrow this one down.

One person who has been nice to you today:
The one who shall receive the item on the table to the left.

Why I love my job, number Q7X52

When basketball switched up to frisbee tonight at work, my extreme suckage was noted by all. From across the court, a shout, "You just might save the world, because you sure suck at everything else."

If I were the Grinch, my heart would burst its frame.

Wednesday, July 16

I Remember Now

That was amazing. Really incredible. My eyes are all the way open and the birds don't irritate me. Twelve hour crash, mm, mm, mmmmm.

Tonight I will take my camera with me, so that when I return home, I can document the nightly pestilence that coats my front door. It's like Amityville Horror, but instead of flies, it is a flock of earwig-ant-looking-hybrids. There was also a large midwestern-style cockroach looking creature to the right, that I'm not ready to call a cockroach yet.

Sunday, July 13

Something scary this way comes

So far, I sleep even less without diet coke. How is that possible? One cup of coffee this morning, and it is this morning again. I saw the sun rise yesterday as I finally went under, then woke up 5 hours later. But, this bird was born, oooooooo. David Bowie is on the radio now, and that is always somehow cooler than me putting it on myself.

Monday, July 7

You Know Who You Are

So, two of you have blog names that take up more than one line in my link list, and that bugs me. However, it would bug me more to somehow edit your titles. There. I had to say it.


Did I say I only blog when I'm crabby? That's not true, I'm not crabby right now, I'm just fascinated by these squid balls. I also have frozen peas strapped to my foot from a spastic basketball game, so I'm stuck sitting still for a bit. I'm not sure what the blog etiquette is on stealing other people's photos for your own blog, but I'm taking the chance here because just look at them, those inky squid balls. The photo was taken by Elyse Sewell, who writes like an assassin and documents food of my nightmares. Makes sense to me, if not to you. So, it's time to add more links to the side and she will be one. More blogetiquette quandry, I left myspace primarily over wanting to ditch specific "friends," and found it was easier just to close the page and start anew. How do other bloggerites feel about deleting a link that you've had up for a while? I'm prone to abstract guilt, and that sort of thing stresses me out. I guess that's another area that blogging allows me to practice on. Who cares, right? It's my blog right? Can I really worry about hurting someone's feelings that way? I could, but I shant. I started this blog privately with 8 readers, and got brave enough to "go public" a month or so in. I'm anonymous enough, that people I don't want to find me, likely won't, but if they stumble across me, oh well. I don't tell the locals or the co-workers, and I don't want to be linked by those who know me in real life. Maybe I'll let go of that last hang-up next month. Or maybe by the end of this post.

The stolen squid balls seem to have a built-in-anti-theft-device, and I can not post the picture here. So, go to her, and see for yourself.

Sunday, July 6

Red Crack

It seems that red crack is as hard to quit as pink crack. Here is me in my swank red gown, about to be bent over by the gleaming red crack pipe of love. I've only had 4 sips in 4 days, and the result is that I'm dreaming of my first love, which perhaps, I should have never abandoned. However, I do know a spot nearby that sells those pretty pink singles.

Friday, July 4

Worth It

If I read through my old journals, I think, "dude, try whining a bit more." Then I note the dates, and the lapses in between entries. I look for even one page that is positive, and find none. I tend not to write when I'm at peace. I use writing to sort myself out, and blog writing has become a way to do it more honestly. Do I mean that I lie in my handwritten journals? Well, yes, actually. I'm a lot meaner in there too. Here, everything has to be honest and at least somewhat objective. My words are legible and waiting to confront me the next day. So, I haven't blogged in 2 weeks because I've been happy with nothing to vent about. Sometimes I need to post a video, because that better conveys my chipperness. Today? I'm frustrated with things that I feel I can't blog about. My brain is rehashing old gripes that are making me freshly angry again. Regrets are a waste of time, I know that, but I still feel like yelling at people who I should have yelled at louder the first time.

On the positive side of things, because I do hate whiners, I'm feeling better after being sick for a couple of days. I'm pretty sure I slept for 36 straight hours. I'm excited for the festivities tonight with people I dearly love. I have been sleeping in a BED for 3 days! Funny, maybe that's why I got sick, so my body could lounge in bed. You see, it would have been too self pitying to share that I have been sleeping on my couch for 10 months. Damn. 10 months since I lived with my husband, my dog, my bed. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, and other times I can hardly remember it all. A year ago today, I was miserable and accepting that there was no way out. But, that is never true, there is always a way out. You just might have to sleep on your couch for a while. You might even have to prop up your couch with books as it becomes a 3 legged couch. But, it's YOUR 3 legged couch, and you get to do what ever you want on it. It is worth it to make the effort to be happy.