Pelagia Noctiluca

Pelagia Noctiluca

Monday, April 5

DC to DT

That would be diet coke to detox, for all you chemical-free, straight edge, folks. Over a month now of Aspartame free living. Done. Dirty, done done. Do you hate it when someone finally gives up something after 20 years, and then jumps on a soapbox to tell you what he or she has been ignoring all this time? Well, prepare to hate while I note note the effects of my feat.

- First 2 weeks was passed in a rufied slumber of chemical withdrawal and flashing migraines. I almost downed an equal packet at its depth, but I did not have enough energy to tear open the packet.

- After a 24 hour sleep at the end of the 2 weeks, I woke up feeling like I was on a new and improved clean drug. Who knew I could get high off of water!!

- I love water! I hated it before, hated it like a dose of Nyquil. Now it is my invisible friend, who apparently is everywhere. I mean, I just open any tap, and there she is.

-Vanity doesn't kill, ABC, it saves! Even upon obsessively magnified examination, my skin is smooth and blemish free. I always thought my face was so juicy, and now it seems that those clusters of tiny pustules were actually excess aspartame oozing from the desert-scape that became my face.

- To expand on the subject of my face, I couldn't figure out what else had changed, except the bathroom light seemed brighter. Aha! The lightrays are not being sucked into my raccoon eyes anymore! They are gleefully bouncing off the same color, (ok, much closer to), the same color as the rest of my face, hence increasing overall illumination!

- I wish I could expand on additional skin effects, dream differences, and food cravings, but it is time to dress and depart. The final point is simple, I have the face of a baby's ass, and I can see better!


Yo is Me said...

hahahahaa!! face of a baby's ass!

water is magic.

Romi said...

good for you! DC used to be too close a friend of mine...not off it completely, but your post and sweet, sweet face is an inspiration ;)

Patty Purviss said...

Sweet crack, she is. But, I have now made it through 2 pms zones without even an underground!

The unexpected side effect is an obsession with vegetarian cooking. So not me. I'm more of a dip that beef in a chemical fondue kind of girl.